All Is Not What It Seems
by HerondaleThoughts
Summary: AU in which Tessa becomes depressed after having James. This is all about how Will comes to realise this with the help of Henry. Please read and review, thank you!
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1, James 2 weeks old**

"He's beautiful," Tessa whispered, pressing her head into Will's shoulder. Will wrapped a protective arm round Tessa and smiled

"He is isn't he?"

"It's his eyes though, those beautiful golden eyes" she breathed, touching her necklace. Will smiles at her and kisses her forehead "It is" he whispered. Tessa walked over to the crib and tucked James in again, she suffered long term effects after the birth. Since Shadowhunter blood was dominant in him, James relied a lot on her Shadowhunter blood making her more tired now. Will could tell she wasn't herself anymore. It hurt him to see his wife like this, not just his wife but his beautiful Tessa. Will stepped forward, opening his hand for her to take "Tess, you need to rest now"

"No, no I just want to make sure he's alright"

"You've been making sure he's been alright for the last two hours" Will said softly "We are in the room right across from him, if anything happens we are close to him"

"Should I not stay with him?"

"Tessa, look at me" Tessa looked round at Will, her head still a little low. He tilts her head up gently and uses his thumb to brush her lips

"He is a Herondale. He is my son for that matter, and if anyone dares try to touch him they will feel the wrath of me. I assure you Tessa, he'll be fine" Tessa brushed some tears away quickly

"I lost one James in my life"

"Tessa, no that's enough now alright? Jem is _not _gone and do not believe for one second he is. He is always with us, do you understand? I know you miss him. So do I, but knowing we can see him and knowing he is here is better than knowing he is dead. So please don't think like that, please" Tessa was trying feebly to dry her tears away. Will sighed and hugged her, he kissed her head and rubbed her back between the shoulder blades

"What's brought this on Tessa?" he whispered gently. He was growing more worried for Tessa each day, he knew something was off from the moment James was born. Tessa just cried into his chest so he let out a gentle sigh "Come on, let's get you to bed now" Will led her away from the crib. He turned the night light on and closed the door before getting Tessa settled in their bed. Will managed to soothe her into some form of sleep, some sleep was better than no sleep. Will lay and looked at the ceiling, thoughts whirling round his head and dancing in front of his eyes until finally, the darkness pulled him under and he slept.

The next morning Will woke as usual but Tessa was still asleep. He decided to let her sleep so scribbled a note down saying he was at breakfast and he would take James with him. He got changed quickly, not really putting much effort in for who would actually be there? Henry maybe? But that was probably it. Will went across and scooped James up

"Hello little man, hello, how are you this morning mm? Did you sleep well? You probably slept better than me and mama" he mumbles, changing the nappy and dressing him. Will carried him down the stairs and went into the dining room, without fail, Henry was sitting there, narrowly missing setting Will and James on fire. The ginger looked up and smiled at Will

"Morning Will" he stood up and gently tickled James who screamed in his childish way and giggled "Hello James, hello"

"Good morning, Henry" Will sat down and tucked into his toast while Henry sat and played with James "How are you this morning Will?"

"Fine, Henry" he nodded. He had expressed his worries to Henry about Tessa, as a father to father. He asked had Charlotte got like this when Charles was born but Henry shook his head and explained that Charlotte was perfectly fine. Which worried Will even more. Will looked over at his son and rubbed his face wearily

"Did you sleep well?" Henry asked gently

"No, I got Tessa settled eventually, she was crying a lot last night" Henry nodded gravely and adjusted his position nervously. For someone marked to be careless and not exactly sane, he often was the best guidance Will had

"Will, I think you need to call Magnus. Tessa is a warlock now, and think what is wrong with her is something only a fellow warlock would understand" though Henry didn't say it. He was implying something. Will could sense it, what was he implying? He looked at Henry curiously

"What are you saying?" Henry took a breath and rubbed his face sadly "William, I don't want to insult your intelligence. You have just had a child, a _mortal _child"

"Yes, and?" Henry looked at him and sighed again, "Will…what is Tessa?"  
"Well, she's a warlock but I don't see how that is relevant…" Will cut himself off. Now he understood. Tessa was immortal. James was not. Tessa was going to watch both her husband and her son age and grow old and die, and she would be left the same. Like a leaf kept in a class cage. The whole world could change and shift around it, but the flower would remain the same. Now Will understood, Tessa was depressed about the fact she was going to have to suffer seeing her child age and grow. Their little miracle was killing her slowly.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N; Thank you all so much for the reviews! I honestly didn't think people would like this so thank you all who reviewed! We have some Magnus in this one, towards the end of it things get really deep so enjoy! –HerondaleThoughts x**

**Chapter 2****, Magnus POV **

When it came down to it, Magnus thought he was a very sympathetic person. He was also very good natured but to be referred to as a counsellor? No. He was not a counsellor. How was he meant to counsel someone when he had his own problems? Woolsey was going to be gone for two days. That meant 48 hours without the love of his life! What he did not expect on that pleasant April evening, was to find none other than William Herondale standing at his door. The once cocky, self-absorbed Shadowhunter now had lines on his forehead and a strained, pained look in his eyes. But damn those eyes never failed to impress Magnus. Black hair, blue eyes were his weakness. And William Herondale was the prime example. Magnus looked at him and rubbed his temple

"Please don't tell me you're cursed again, I don't think I can cope calling up another demon" Magnus intended this to be a joke. What he did not expect was for Will to break down crying in his arms. Magnus quickly guided him threw to his drawing room "Will, oh Will" he whispered. He kept hugging the Shadowhunter until his breathing evened out. What had got him like this? He would slaughter anyone who dared hurt his blue eyed love. Magnus waited until he was ready to speak and when it did, it was a knife through the heart

"T-Tessa, my Tessa, she's depressed"

"William, whatever are you talking about?"

"She's depressed! I'm sure you know what depressed means!" he shouted at Magnus. Magnus just sighed and looked at him "Will, getting angry won't help. Tell me why is she depressed, there is remedies I can get her to help"

"Last time I checked you had no cure for immortality" that struck Magnus like a whip across the back. He stared at Will, his eyes searching him and then everything clicked

"I see"

"Henry said I should get you to talk to her. She does nothing but cry in her sleep, she doesn't leave Jamie's side unless I drag her away. She sits and stares at nothing" he sounded so hopeless. God, Magnus thought, why do you punish people who deserve it least? All the suffering Will endured to be greeted by this? They had a child, a beautiful son, but now that happiness turned to sadness and Magnus knew there would be no cure to this sadness. The warlock took Will's hand and held it softly "I will talk to her, I will help as much as I can. She will not be alone in this"

"Do you promise me?"

"When have I ever lied to you?" Will nodded and took a deep breath "Thank you"

"Anything to help, I'll come by tomorrow and chat to her alright?"

"That should do fine" Will stood up and offered a hand shake to Magnus who scoffed and pulled him into a hug "We hug Will, we've kissed each other before. A hand shake is far too formal"

"In case you've forgotten, I was on the verge of death from demon poison!"

"Don't be a drama queen, Will" he smirks and stands by the door as Will walks across to Balious. Such a loyal creature, Magnus thought, a loyal creature for a loyal master. He watched as Will rode off across the road and too the bridge. Magnus was never one for soapy love stories. He remembered back to Axel in Paris during the French Revolution. How they stole that kiss beside the river and how it was Magnus who broke the kiss, insisting that he got away from Paris for he wanted him to be safe. So many lovers, he thought, but none quite like Will.

**Will's POV**

Will left Balious to Cyril and hurried up to Tessa. First though, he stopped to talk to Jessamine who was sitting on the steps and smiling at him

"Where have you been then?"

"Your job, Jessie, is to guard the institute. Not become Sherlock Holmes"

"Tessa has been going mad, I heard Sophie try to calm her down. They got Brother Zachariah out eventually to get her settled" alarm flashed across Will's face "I-is Jamie alright?"

"He's fine, I think it was a nightmare or something" Will didn't want to find out from Jessamine. He ran the rest of the way until he was at Tessa's room. He flung the door open and saw Tessa lying perfectly still in her bed and Jem sitting there holding her hand

"J-Jem? What's wrong with Tessa?" he whispered desperately, hurrying in to be by her side

_At ease, brother at ease_. He heard Jem's cool voice fill his head and took a deep breath

"Jessamine said that she was upset, a-and everyone was trying to calm her down but she was upset"

_Will, Tessa is just very stressed at the moment. She woke up and found you weren't here and James was gone. She hadn't found your note, it had been knocked over when you left_, Jem explained with such kindness, Will felt his heart stutter

"I'm so stupid" he whispered "I was at Magnus's, he's coming to talk to her tomorrow about-about being immortal" Jem nodded softly, Tessa stirred and Will saw Jem's hand tighten ever so slightly. The three of them again; When Jem was sick, Will would sit loyally by his side until he was better. When Will was sick, Jem would stand by his window and play the violin until Will was asleep in a peaceful dream. But when Tessa was sick, both of them stood loyally by her side. No matter the situation, Jem would stand at one side and Will at the other. For between them a red ribbon linked their hearts. An unbreakable bond that would only grow strong as time progressed. And as time progressed Will realised two things; one, he had the most kindest parabati a Shadowhunter could wish for and two, his wife was the most brilliant thing alive on this earth. Will walked to the other side of the bed and took Tessa's hand. For now, they would sit in silence, for now they would remain in their little bubble. For now, things seemed to be alright…but that was only for now.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N; Oh we're on chapter 3, Whoop! I would like to thank MagicAndSparklez for your review! That was so very kind of you and really made my day **** Also thank you for reviewing and to answer your question, I update it every day I get home (If I can) and thank you for pointing that out, I'll try to extend them! Feedback is so useful so please don't think it's annoying because it's so very useful! Thanks again! –HerondaleThoughts x**

**Chapter 3, Tessa's POV**

_She was running down a hall, an empty hall. There was screaming, the scream was everywhere and echoed threw her body. She heard shouting as well, where was Will? Where was Jamie? She tired to shout their name but a hand covered her mouth_

"_You're mine now. Their gone, we are immortal together Theresa Gray and you will suffer for it" she turned round to see the speaker and to her horror discovered it was…_

"TESSA!" Will was shaking her furiously, a horrified look in his eyes. Tessa cried when she saw him, she couldn't control the tears that erupted from her. Will pulled her into his arms

"Ssh, Tess come on now you're alright. You're in the institute, I'm here. Nothing will harm you now"

"Jamie? Where's Jamie?"

"He's in his crib, he's asleep. Do you remember you put him to bed? He was crying so you sat and read to him?" Tessa shook her head making Will nod "Come on, we'll go see him" he stood up, he was shirtless again and two things stood out to Tessa that she wished didn't. Firstly, it was the faded parabati rune on his chest that still looked to hurt him when he touched it and secondly it was the long scar around his side. She remembered that day like it was yesterday, Will was out hunting and saw a group of small werewolf children under threat by a demon. He ran head first to save them forgetting that Jem wouldn't be there to save him. He saved the children and Woolsey Scott came to carry him back to the Institute. She remembered how the blood soaked Woolsey and how Will was crying Jem's name. He must have noticed her staring at it for he gently leaned over and kissed her forehead

"That was long ago darling," he whispered tenderly, taking her hand in his and guiding her across to the nursery. With the help of Magnus and Henry, they had something called a nightlight. They trapped some witch light in a jam-jar and poked holes on the top of it and then sat it on a plate that rotated threw the night so if James couldn't sleep, he'd wake up and see the stars. Will suggested putting the different sort of weapons but Tessa protested and Magnus said he might be good but he wasn't that good. Will lead Tessa threw and as soon as she saw her son she rushed over and scooped him into her arms. She pressed him close against her and tried to stop the unending streams of tears coming from her eyes. She sat down on the rocking chair and looked at her little James

"Hello, hello" she kissed his forehead and closed her eyes. James slowly woke up in his mother's hold and let out one of his childish screams. Will would've found this sight ideal if his wife was sobbing her eyes out and he hadn't just woken her from a screaming nightmare. Tessa cradled him against her chest and sang in a whisper. She was lost in a bubble. She didn't notice Will leave the room, nor did she notice Magnus come in and wrap an arm round her shoulders

"Tessa…" he whispered softly "I think we need to talk" Will walked in and gently took James from her. She looked at Will and opened her mouth to speak but Will shook his head

"Tessa you need to go"

"Don't tell me what I need to do William"

"You are depressed Tessa! Magnus is here to help!" Will shouted. This woke James who started to cry, Tessa rushed over to him and pulled her small child into her arms "Look what you've done"

"What _I've _done?! By the angel Tessa"

"Will, getting angry will solve nothing. Tessa what Will says is true so please come with me, James will be alright here. No one is going to take him away from you" the softness in Magnus's voice calmed James down in an instant. Tessa looked down at her child and reluctantly handed James to Will. She left the room with tears threatening to spill from her eyes, no. She thought, I will not cry because of what Will said. I will not allow myself to be so weak! That thought only lasted until she reached the library. She opened the door and felt her knees buckle in from underneath her and then the tears started. She fell onto the floor and let her sobs escape her freely. She felt a set of strong arms wrap around her and carry her over to the red sofas in the library and set her down in front of the fire

"Tessa, please listen to me when I say this. From the bottom of my heart I wish I didn't have to have this conversation with you, but I do. I have to make you understand, you are immortal. I know that. My heart bleeds for you but you cannot let that stop you from enjoying the moments you will have with Will and James! It's not easy, it never will be. You don't realise how many lovers I have held as they died" Tessa sobbed out at that. Magnus took her hand squeezed it "Tessa I can't sugar coat this. But please, please if you don't make these memories now then you never will have them. Make them now and savour them. I'm not being harsh Tessa, I had some one talk to me when I discovered I was immortal too. But remember this, God engrave this into your brain, you are not, do you hear me? You are not alone in this. Never for one second are you alone" Tessa's crying had lessened. She nodded and soon curled into Magnus's arms who made gently noises to reassure her. Like Will, Tessa loved so gravely. So strongly that to question it was like trying to question the function of the wheel. They stayed there for some time. Magnus holding Tessa as she cried, they didn't know that the same situation would reoccur years later in Paris when Will died. But for now Will was alive and fighting fit, and would stand loyally by her side until the day he did eventually go to meet Raziel.

**Will's POV**

Damn meetings, he thought. He sat and admired the view from the window. He had to give them credit, they picked very good locations. He wasn't paying full attention to the discussion that was happening though he did hear something that completely caught his attention

"This will be the first child born with a Shadowhunter father and a shape-shifting mother"

"We will need to look into this" Will whipped his head round to listen to their conversation

"Is the mother even worth credit? It clearly states that demons such as herself should not have children with the angels" What? Where they being serious? Will was slowly losing the plot. Tessa, his amazing Tessa, was referred to as a demon? A cold hearted killing machine? His Tessa that was crying over the fact she was going to see her own child age and die when she could not? His Tessa that was depressed?! Will couldn't take anymore. He slammed his fists on the desk and roared at them "She is my wife! I married her out of love! If I spoke against any of your wives I would be thrown out into the street! But yet it's perfectly acceptable for you to call my wife a demon?! How dare you all think you have the right to insult and label and disrespect my wife! How dare you think you have that right!" fury rang out in every word. He turned and stormed out from the room, slamming the door shut as he left. He walked to the institute but was stopped before entering

"If you think you are entering here in that state think twice"

"Jessamine I don't need this"

"And Tessa does not need to be on the receiving end of it so drop your pride and go kill a duck"

"Oh shut up" Will felt a quick impact of cold air hit his face, he was nearly sure that if ghosts could slap, that was what it felt like

"William Owen Herondale get yourself together! If you think walking into the institute like a bull in a China shop will help your depressed wife and your new born son then you need to think twice! Clearly you don't know what it's like living with someone who is depressed!"

"Oh and you do?!"  
"Yes! My mother to be exact!" She yelled. Will stood there speechless for a moment and hung his head "Jessamine, I'm so sorry" he whispered

"It was a long time ago. It's all a bit of a blur"

"You still had to endure it"

"Oh it wasn't that bad. I mean sure she spent endless nights crying in her room and sure she couldn't leave her roam without panicking. And what does it matter that she didn't come to see my dance solo in school" Will sensed something in her voice. That even though she said it didn't matter, it mattered a lot to her. He looked at her and took a soft breath "Jessamine, please. I understand"

"I know you do Will, but I always preferred Jem to you" Will couldn't help but laugh at this and shook his head "You always were stubborn"

"Mm, yes I was. Now go to your wife" Will nodded. He felt calmer now than before and made his way up to their room. He opened the door and saw Tessa slumped over her chair, he thought he had fallen asleep so chuckled slightly at the sight

"Tess, are you awake love?" there was no answer

"Tessa?" concern edging into his voice when he got silence again "Tessa come on now" he walked towards her and kneeled in front of her. It was as pale as a sheet, on her arm she had drawn a rune on her wrist. She had drawn the rune of love into her wrist. Warlocks couldn't take runes. He screamed out for help and scooped her into his arms, running to the infirmary. She was so cold, he thought, what worried him more was the fact he couldn't feel her breath tickle his skin.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Thank you again for your comments! You thought the last chapter was bad? Hehe wait till you see this one! This one we also have a bit from Jem's point of view, thought it'd be nice so enjoy!–HerondaleThoughts x**

**Chapter 4, Will's POV**

"I've never prayed to you before" Will whispered, his voice shaking as he spoke. He found the prayer room, he didn't even know this existed until Charlotte pointed it out to him, he had been pacing the hall. Tessa's screams was a thousand daggers threw his heart and his soul. He sat in front of the statue of the Angel Raziel, his hands trembling as much as his voice. He rubbed his eyes trying to get rid of the tears "I-I don't believe in praying. I prayed that you saved Jem, but they were silent prayers and looked what happened? You sent him into Brotherhood. But-but if you think you can take my T-Tessa away from me! Don't, please" he sobbed "She is so innocent in this. So please, I beg of you Angel Raziel, I beg you to spare her. I beg you to spare her of deaths grip. I fear if she died I would soon follow. I have lost Ella, I lost Jem, and I cannot lose my wife. I beg of you please, please let her live" he soon found it in himself to leave. He stumbled back to the infirmary, his heart wept when he heard Tessa's screams echo the institute. He used the wall to support himself, then he felt some arms wrap around him. Tight arms but had a feminine touch "Gwilym…" the voice soothed. Cecily, Will thought. He turned and clutched onto his sister, willing himself from the bottom of his heart not to cry

"Don't hold it in, Will," she whispered. That pushed Will over the edge and soon he was crying into Cecily's arms. His sister made gentle shushing noises and rubbed his back "It's alright"

"It is not alright! Tessa is dying!" he yelled

_William…_oh this was just his day wasn't it? First Cecily and now Jem. God who ever next? Will whipped round to look at Jem

"She is dying!" but his parabati shook his head

_With the help of Magnus Bane, we've redone the rune. She is in a lot of pain yes, and is delirious. But she is no longer dying, we removed the poison from her system _

"So what you're telling me is that it was suicide?" Will snapped. When Jem didn't reply Will pushed him against a wall. He was losing the plot in here

"Answer me!" he yelled. Instead of flinching or giving Will a direct answer, Jem replied very calmly, almost in a hurt manner

_She was my fiancé once too. I was to have her as my wife before this. Do not think I don't care for her. She tried to kill herself yes, but that is not my fault nor is it yours. _Will stood looking at Jem, his parabati who said he wasn't found of words but yet always knew what to say at the exact moment. Will crippled down to his knees

"I-I prayed to Raziel for help" Jem nodded understandingly "I prayed that he does not take another person I love away from me"

_Such prayers are beautiful ones_

"There is nothing beautiful about asking the Angels to spare your wife from death"

_It must have worked, for she is alive. She is breathing and she is crying. And I believe you should go in and comfort your wife. _Will nodded and walked uneasily into the infirmary. Tessa was in a cot, her brown hair pulled back away from her, sweat was still forming on her brow and on her wrist there was the horrid bruise of love rune. It was scarring viciously, black lines had replaced her veins and even to feel it made Will jerk his hand back from the heat of it. He sat down next to Tessa, taking her other hand and kissing it

"My sweet Tess" he whispered "I know I am not good enough to deserve you. I know I will never be capable to give you the love that you are worthy of" Will looked at her with his blue eyes large and innocent, asking for her forgiveness but knowing she could not see them "I know you are upset, Tessa. I know now you are depressed and I know that the demons you fight are unlike mine. That they torture your mind so you cannot rest but I tell you this" he took a deep breath and looked at her

"Dear heart," he said. He took her hand in his and kissed it "Who knows your courage better than I?" it was the most sincere words he could form for her. Those words stood for everything they had been threw together. The heart break when they knew there was no cure for Jem. The relief when Will found Tessa in Lake Idris. The pleasure they felt as they became one that night. The delight when Tessa told Will she was pregnant. The world they had faced together. The world that shunned Tessa for being a warlock, the world that slammed its doors to them at every opportunity. And when Will wanted to give up, it was Tessa who said we will try again and we will succeed. Her courage in her heart was greater than any lions. She was his heart, his calm before the storm, the glory and pride that he never could express. Dear heart, he thought mentally, still kissing her hand, please don't leave me now.

**Magnus's POV**

Magnus was a firm believer in embracing who you were. Unless you were a demon. Then he would reconsider things but most of the time he tried to encourage that people become who they are and do it openly. When Tessa and he had agreed after several months of testing and trying that she was indeed a warlock with shape shifting abilities, he told her to embrace it since it was such a rare talent for a warlock to have. Many could change by glamours but to have the ability to completely change into a different person just by holding ones item, it really was remarkable. What Magnus did not want to hear was that Tessa had drew a rune on her wrist to try and poison herself. What made it hurt even more was that it was a love rune. He remembered hearing someone say to him once 'For love I will die, for love I will be a willing servant to death. I fall into that sleep from which I shall never awaken. For knowing I will age and my lover will not, death seems like such a kinder option'. He hoped Tessa had not heard that. Because it would not help the situation in the slightest. He stood at the door and listen to Will pour his heart out. How much more could he take? Magnus thought sadly, how much heart break can such a tender lover take? He listened and he observed, he had never loved someone like Will did. He was starved of love before hand and sure he loved Woolsey but he was a werewolf. They didn't really understand the delicacy of love. Magnus walked in slowly and rested a hand on Will's shoulder but his blue eyes boy didn't look round to see him

"Will, she had her reasons. She thought she might be helping herself," Magnus whispered

"Do reasons when there's nothing that can be done to change things?"

"She loves you, Will. She loves you but she is torn in so many directions"

"I want to help her. How can I help her if she never speaks to me?"

"She does, but in ways you don't understand yet" Magnus let Will rest his head against his side. He knew what would fix this. He turned and searched for Jem. He found the Silent Brother sitting out side the infirmary as if he was forbidden to enter the room making him smile gently

"James, they need your help" Jem shot to his feet in an instant

_Is everything alright? Is Tessa sick? Do I need to get more medical equipment?_

"Jem…I need you to get your violin" Jem looked at him for a moment before nodding and quickly going to the old music room. Magnus waited by the door and nodded when he saw him return

"Will has fallen asleep, I think Tessa make wake soon. Your violin should hopefully pull her from her sleep" Jem nodded and stepped into the infirmary and began playing.

**Jem's POV**

Jem played like he had never played before. He melted into his music and made his soul reach out for Tessa's. To let her know that whatever darkness she was in, that she was not alone. He played for her like when she was trapped in the fever after turning into the angel. He played for her like when he confessed he loved her and that he always would. He played for everything they were, and everything that her and Will could be. All those memories at Blackfriars Bridge. How when Tessa was too sad to talk, he pulled down to branches and let her drop them into the river and watch them float away. The memories flooded him and soon his heart could take no more and slowly he concluded playing. He stopped gently and walked over to her, kissing her forehead lightly

_Zhe shi jie shang, wo shi zui ai ne de_, he kisses her again before straightening himself up. Those words playing in his head. 'In all the world, you are what I love most', he stepped away and willed himself to turn away. He rested his hand on Will's shoulder to let him know he was still there but he would be leaving again. He was just about to leave when he heard a raspy voice

"I m-miss your music" sweet Tessa, he thought. Of course his music was what she missed. He turned round and looked at her

_I would love to play more for you, but I am afraid I must go now _

"Please don't leave me," her voice was barely a whisper. He shook his head and looked to Will

_He feared so greatly for you. He cried and prayed like Sydney Carton. A made man fearing he had lost the one true dream of his soul_

"Will, Will wake up" she whispered. Jem was glad he was there to see his parabati's reaction to discovering Tessa was awake again. Never had he seen such happiness fill someone's face. He didn't hear all of what Will said to her, but he heard the parts such as 'I will never let you go again' and 'I love you, my pearl beyond price' he was so kind in his words that the memories of the angry 12 year old Will seemed like such a far out cry now. Will sat and sobbed in Tessa's arms and Jem knew his time was up. The Brothers would not be impressed but he would've rather stood and made sure the two most important people in his life were alive and well. He stepped out and nodded at Magnus

_She is awake, I believe they need a moment together. _

"I would never dream of interrupting their moment together," Magnus replied with a nod

_She will need a lot of medicine now, and she will not be permitted to feed James. If she does it must be from a bottle to prevent any chances of him getting poisoned as well_

"Thank you Jem" he nodded and turned away. He walked down to the institute steps and stood there for a moment. He missed being able to feel. The feeling of the breeze tickling his arms, or the constant London drizzle that never seemed to lift. He missed the feel of the sun prickling down on him and the feel of rain drops dripping from his hair when he got caught in a down pour because Will insisted they would find where they were looking for without a map or the help of people. He missed those long evenings when he went out walking, the feeling of the grass beneath his feet when he wore no shoes or the feeling of the gravel churning when he ran after Will. He stood there with his head tilted up slightly

"Daydreaming again?"

_Remembering actually_, he knew the voice well. It was Jessamine's voice

"Remembering what it's like to be alive?"

_I am alive_

"Physically yes, metaphorically no. You won't age, you don't feel, do you even have a heart beat?" Jem looked at her and shook his head

_When did you get so smart mm?  
_"Oh I was always smart, you were just too busy admiring how brilliant Will was to actually notice" Jem couldn't help but chuckle slightly at that

_I should return to the Silent City. _If he could see her properly, he knew she shuddered at the memories of in there

_I am in no rush too though, they do not like me very much down there_

"Then they are fools, for you are one of the greatest people I know" Jem felt something change in him. He nodded gently at Jessamine

_Thank you, but I must go. Take care of Will now won't you? And Little Jamie?_

"It would be my pleasure too" Jem nodded and started walking. He felt lighter almost. Tessa was alright and Will was alright. They had each other now and Will was not alone. Which was more than he could ever ask for. That his closest friend would never be left alone in the world. For the world had left him alone when he was so young. And the scars still showed. But in Tessa's arms, he had no fear. And that put Jem at ease.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Hey guys I'm so sorry about not posting yesterday! I had a really bad day and just couldn't function so I'm sorry! But I'm back now and I bring you more Jessamine feels because I think she is SO underrated! To answer the guest's question; Yes, 'Dear heart, who knows your courage better than mine' was taken from The Whitechapel Fiend because it's just amazing! Also, in this one Will sings to Tessa, the song is called My Romance by Aaron Tviet so seriously do look it up because its soo cute and feelsy! –HerondaleThoughts x

**Chapter 5, Will's POV**

Everything had been going as well as it could in Will's eyes. Tessa was better now, she didn't cry as much and she wouldn't fuss over James. His son was really growing into being a fine young man, he thought. He had an obsession with a wooden spoon and he often pulled Will's hair or tried to bite his finger off. Will was sitting in the nursery one morning, reading contently to James who made all those little childish screams that children make. Will always used different voices as he read, he prized himself on his variety and often complimented himself on doing such a good job. Will was sitting with James on his knee who today, was trying to eat the buttons on his waistcoat "No, Jamie no, that's bad" the child just giggled in return and clapped his fat little hands. Will smirked and sighed

"Where is mama? Where's mama?"

"Mama is here" Tessa stood at the door with a soft smile on her lips. Her hair was plaited to the side and she wore her nightdress. That morning Tessa had woken up with a splitting sore head and had thrown up so Will insisted bed rest. He stood up and set James back in the cot before walking over to his wife, wrapping an arm around her waist and pulling her close to his side

"I thought I said bed rest" he sighed, kissing her temple and pressing his forehead to her head

"I know, but the bed was too clammy. I was alone" she whispered. Will knew this had become a growing fear of Tessa's. Being alone. He turned to stand in front of her and tilted her chin up

"I'm here now, do you want to go back to bed?" Tessa nodded and Will guided her back across. He made sure Tessa was comfortable before he lay down himself. Tessa used his chest as a pillow and he carelessly playing with the ends on her hair

"How do you feel now?"

"My head feels like bricks" Will kissed her forehead gently and moved down a little so Tessa's head was tucked neatly under his chin. Her body curled against his strong frame made Will relax. For someone who had spent nearly all his life fighting demons and denying himself love, he never thought he would be lying in bed with the girl he loved more than life itself

"Do you remember my proposal to you?"

"Mmm?"

"Marry me Tessa, marry me and be Tessa Herondale. Or be Tessa Gray…" Will smiled down at her, she was looking up at him with her eyes filled with love

"Whatever you wish to call yourself but marry me and stay with me and never leave me, for I cannot bear another day of my life to go by that does not have you in it" Will kissed her forehead softly but it explained everything. When he pulled back he looked at Tessa, smiling softly

"Happy wedding anniversary, Tessa" he whispered. Tessa sat up and smiled. She kissed his lips and rested her head on his chest

"I forgot" it was barely above a whisper. But Will could hear her broken heart and the tears she was willing herself not to shred

"Oh Tessa," he whispered. He hugged her tightly. He held her into his chest and listened to her sobs, each one breaking his heart. He pulled away and looked at Tessa

"My sweet Tessa, listen to me. Its ok, it's ok you forgot. You've been under a lot of stress recently, I don't care if you missed a wedding anniversary"

"But I do"

"You shouldn't. Because we will have so many more to share together don't we? You know, on Jem's 16th birthday. I forgot it was his birthday. Everyone bought him a present and a card but I had nothing so I told him my birthday present to him was my presence itself" Tessa laughed weakly at that which made him smile

"You're alright, its ok" he whispered. He tucked her in close to him again but he still heard her muffle sobs so decided there was one thing for it. He was going to sing. He adjusted his position slightly so he was sitting up and cradling her in his arms and gently he began to sing

"_My romance, doesn't need to have a moon in the sky,_

_My romance, doesn't need a blue lagoon standing by_

_No month of May, no twinkling stars_

_No hideaway, no soft guitar_

_My romance doesn't need a castle rising in Spain_

_Or a dance to a constantly surprising refrain_

_Wide awake, I can make my most fantastic dreams come true_

_My romance, doesn't need a thing…but…you_" by the time he finished singing he knew Tessa was asleep. Her crying had died out and she was peaceful in his arms. He sighed and kisses her forehead again. He hums the rest of the song, playing with her hair and tracing figures on her arm. Secretly he was heartbroken that she had forgotten today was their anniversary. Will sighs again and kept her close as usual. He never would grow tired of having her in his arms, his sweet Tessa. He saw the burnt love rune on her wrist. They couldn't remove it but they had got the toxic from it out of her system which was good. Will knew how close they had been. How close he was to loosing her again. But that was his Tessa. Going to deaths brink and coming back to her. He remembered all those times he thought he had lost her, how he held her body and thought she was gone but then she would come back. She would come back ten times stronger than before but now, that fire was gone. She came back from death because of Jem and Magnus. Will had been useless. He felt tears falling away and wiped them away. He kissed her head again and stood up, leaving her a note saying he was out with Balious. That was partly true, he hurried out of the room and opened the Institute steps, only to be stopped by a force he couldn't see

"Now Will, where would you be going in such a hurry?" He looked at Jessamine, he opened his mouth but closed it. Tears spilling from his eyes

"T-Tessa forgot it was our wedding anniversary" he choked. He bit his lip and before he could stop it tears were spilling from his eyes and sobs escaped him. He buried his face in his hands and then felt a coldness envelope him. Jessamine. Jessamine was hugging him. He cried slightly into her shoulder, never wanting to someone to be real so badly. They stayed like that for a while, Jessamine hugging Will while he cried

"S-sorry, I'm so sorry" he whispered, wiping his face but Jessamine shook her head

"It's the least I can do, you made my death so much more kinder. I went knowing you care for me, after thinking for so long that the world hated me, it was nice to go feeling loved" Will nodded

"I never hated you, Jessamine. I never could hate you, disagree with you yes but never hate" she nodded and sat down next to Will

"You know, sometimes we forget what we love. Look at Henry, he never remembers anything but Charlotte still knows he loves her, even though he hasn't remembered her birthday since they were married" Will couldn't help but laugh slightly

"We forgive the ones we love when they forget details because we know that they don't mean to forget them" Will turned to look at her

"Thank you" he whispered, she nodded

"All part of being a ghost; guarding here, fighting off danger, protecting you all and offering counselling" Will laughed a little louder now

"But of course if it were optional I would leave"

"And go where?"

"Oh I don't know, find Nate probably" Will nodded and sighed gently

"You loved him didn't you?"

"I loved the idea of being in love with him, he saw straight threw me. I loved him like you love Tessa. Except he didn't love me back. He used me for many reasons, now I see what a fool I was. I see you and Tessa, Henry and Charlotte, even Sophie and Gideon and I know I was his rag doll. His puppet, no one had showed me real love but then he sweeps in, offering me everything I could ever want in ways I could only dream of"

"He blinded you" Will whispered. Jessamine nodded sadly and took a deep breath

"When he started to show his true colours, I was in too deep. I couldn't stop what he was doing"

"He tormented Tessa" Will replied

"I see that now, I see what a monster he was. Fear drives us insane doesn't it? You never know a person truly until you've seen them afraid"

"He was scared of the Magister"

"I suffered for it, he shouted a lot. He threatened me too, but I was stubborn. I didn't care, he promised to take me away so what did I care?" she sighed and shook her head

"You should go back to Tessa, Will. She might be worried were you are"

"Are you alright?" Jessamine nodded and smiled

"I still see Thomas and Agatha, they both understand now. They forgive me" Will smiled and stood up

"Goodnight Jessie"

"Goodnight Will" Will made his way back to his room. He felt refreshed and more alert now after speaking to Jessamine. She made him realise a lot of things that he had been blind too.

He walked up to his room and saw Tessa was gone. Panic was flaring up in his chest again, god no she can't have. He thought, he searched the bathroom but she wasn't there. He checked the nursery and she wasn't there. James was sound asleep

"No, no, no" he whispered. He turned and sprinted down the halls, he wasn't entirely sure when he started shouting Tessa's name but he knew he was because he could hear his echo. He sprinted to the library and let out a long breath

"Thank god" he whispered. Tessa was sitting on the floor, her skirts fanned out around her. He hurried towards her but then heard her muffle sobs. He kneeled in front of her, her hands were burnt and blistered and in her hands was a picture

"I-I heard you and Jessamine talking about Nate"

"Oh Tessa…"

"H-he used her, like he used me" she sobbed "But I still love him" Will pulled her into a hug. Damn Nate for doing this to her, damn him for corrupting her beautiful soul. Damn the world for making her think like this

"He was cruel, he was an abuser. Tessa, please don't waste your time thinking about what he did to you"

"James could've had an uncle, an uncle to t-take him out or teach him"

"He does. He has Jem. He has Henry, we do not need Nate in our lives"

"He's not going to be in them Will because he's dead!" she snapped before sobbing again. Will cursed mentally and closed his eyes, he kissed her forehead and opened his hands

"Let's go fix your hands" he whispered, he kept his tone gentle. Tessa nodded and stood up, letting Will guide her to the infirmary and tend to her blistering hands. When he finished, he kissed her hands gently and looked at Tessa

"It will get better one day" he wasn't referring to her hands. He was referring to her sadness. Her sadness that seemed to spread threw her body like a cancer. Her sadness that he couldn't protect her from. He hoped that some day it would get better. He was willing to wait for that day. For one day of happiness with Tessa was worth a thousand sad days with her. He never got over how her happiness radiated off her or how it lit up her grey eyes. One day of happiness, he reminded himself. One day of happiness, it will come.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: Aw guys, thank you! How could I not give you a second chapter in one day because of those reviews *air hug!* Thank you all, I just want to tell you that I suffer manic depression so hearing your reviews on this literally keep me going. I couldn't function yesterday I was so bad but your reviews got me up and got me going so seriously, thank you all ever so much! (Also, to the Guest who comments, please make your roommate a cuppa too and tell them I'm sorry!) –HerondaleThoughts x

**Chapter 6 Will's POV **

He cherished these moments. These happier days. That morning at half five, Tessa had woken him and said she wanted to watch the sun rise, so of course he said they would go up to the roof top and watch the sunrise. And he was glad she suggested it. In the middle their seemed to be a clash of light blue and light pink. The colours were like water colours and blended together. Will had his arm wrapped round Tessa and they remained snuggled under their blanket and watched as the world came to life. When the sun broke through, those sweet water colours were broken and replaced by new bold colours that illuminated the hanging fog around them. Will sighed gently and kissed the side of Tessa's head

"It's amazing" he whispered

"I love sunrises" she held her hand up and allowed the light to catch her bracelets, they sparkled like diamonds. Catching the light in such a way that it seemed as if they had caught the moment. Will studied them and smiled as she made a rainbow

"I don't think I can find words to summon the beauty I'm experiencing" Tessa laughed

"William Herondale? Speechless? Next you'll be telling me Henry can dance the tango in high heels!" Will laughed as well, when Tessa had good days, she had good days. Will felt like he could fight the world with her by his side. He felt so satisfied with life he often remembered the quote

'If I am to die, then let me die here and now for no day to come with be as great as this one' but more days came. And each good day seemed to be better than the last. Tessa closed her eyes and tilted her head up, allowing the sun to tickle her features, Will leaned back and studied them. Her mousey brown hair suddenly became lighter, her cheekbones became sharper as shadows filled were the sun could not. Her smooth lips seemed to be so soft that he couldn't help but kiss them. He felt Tessa's shock but that shock soon grew into desire, she closed her eyes and pressed her forehead to his and wrapped her arms around his neck, they barely ever did this anymore. Let their bodies melt into one, he smiled into her kiss and used his hand to support her lower back

"My Tessa," he whispered. He let his teeth graze over her bottom lip earning him a slight moan in pleasure. He smiled and hugged her again before carrying her down to their room. He was careful as he lay her down on the bed but he wasn't as careful when he kissed her again. Tessa wrapped her arms around him as Will let his kisses trail down her neck and to her collar bone, she had a soft point there. As expected, when he got to it she let out another soft moan. When he didn't expect was for Tessa to start shaking her head

"Not yet, I'm not ready" Will drew back and pulled her into a hug, massaging her back

"I understand, do you want some time alone? I can go check on James" Tessa nodded and let Will get up out of their bed. He kissed her again and left to the nursery, smiling as he saw James sucking his thumb and sleeping peacefully under his nightlight

"Hello little man" Will greeted fondly, sitting down next to him and smiling warmly

"Hello, would you like to come out and meet Babi? Mmm? Or how about Auntie Jessie, would you like that?" Babi was Will's nickname for Balious when he was near James. He picked his son up into his arms and cradled him gently

"I know you don't see mama as much as you use too, but mama loves you. Her love for you grows each day and sometimes her love for you is too much and she gets said" James had woken up now. Those sapphire eyes blazing into Will's blue ones

"But you don't realise do you? You just want to be hugged and admired" Will chuckles, tickling his son's tummy who let out another playful scream. There was a gentle knock and Henry came in, smiling at Will and James

"Good morning Henry"

"Hullo Will" he moved across the room and sat opposite Will "How has Tessa been? I've been meaning to ask but I've been so busy"

"She's better now, yeah. She's not perfect yet, but I think with time and care we'll be one step closer" Henry smiled but there was a sadness to his eyes

"Will, I'm really sorry about this" Will looked up at him, his eye brows knitted together

"Henry, what's wrong?" Henry opened a letter and give it to Will. Will opened it hurriedly and read it

'_William,_

_I hope all is well. Things are not so well here, you're mother has taken ill and the doctors believe there is little time left for her. She wants to see you, Tessa and James. She wants to see her grandson before she passes. I wish it were for a happier reason, but it is an unavoidable price we have to pay for love. You will understand with time_

_Yours,_

_Edmund. H, your father_' Will quickly handed James to Henry before walking out of the room. He walked blindly to wherever his feet decided to take him. He recalled hearing someone call his name, Jessamine maybe? He wasn't paying attention. He recalled feeling the rain soak his skin but what did it matter? What did the rain matter? Was rain going to stop time? Was rain going to stop his mother dying? No. It wasn't. He did remember banging on a set of large doors and screaming Jem's name. He remembered falling to the ground in the mud and puddles and sobbing his eyes out. He also remembered a set of warm robes being wrapped round him

_At ease, brother. I am here_

"S-she's dying. Jem she's dying" he cried. Jem kneeled in front of Will and rested his hand on his shoulder

_Who is dying? I can try to save them, Will. All is not lost_

"She's not a S-Shadowhunter. It's my m-mother" Jem let out a soft sigh and pulled Will into a hug, he knew his parabati needed it. Will cried for everything he had missed, those years turning her away. Denying her help and refusing to answer her

_Will, Will I need you to breathe for me. You're in shock and you're wearing yourself out. Copy me now ok? In for three and out for six, can you do that for me Will? _Will tried to do as Jem instructed but the breath kept getting hitched in his throat making it come out awkwardly. This wasn't struggling to breathe. This was a panic attack. Will couldn't get his thoughts clear either, he was panting and trembling, everything around him was fussy until he felt a hand on his chest

_This is your heart, you own it. It is under your mind control. Your heart needs to listen to you. Breathe William, breathe and control your heart or you will regret it. Breathe for Tessa, for Jamie and for Cecily. Close your eyes and picture a candle, as you breathe in the candle goes stronger and as you breathe out it dimmers. _Will listened to Jem and soon found his breathing coming to it's senses, he still stuttered out breaths and he still felt unsure about everything but he knew Jem was there and he knew Jem was helping him. Soon his breathing returned to normal and soon he managed to control himself

_There, you are ok now_

"Thank you"

_Anything for you_. Will smiled weakly and rubbed his face and sighed, "I best go back to Tessa and tell her about mother" Jem nodded

_That would be wise, I also suggest a warm bath and some smelling salts to try and relax your mind a bit more, when your mind is tense you are more likely to panic so a warm bath with smelling salts will help. _Will chuckled and shook his head

"You're like one of those old grannies who nag on to their grandchildren"

_If I am the granny then you are the rebellious grandson always giving me heart attacks when you decide to go fight one thing or another _

"Oh please, you loved it secretly" Jem shook his head, Will knew he was smiling, he could feel it

_Oh what's not to love about seeing your own parabati go fight a vampire and then bite it? And also your drunken fights with bar tenders_

"All for the better cause" Jem tutted and sighed

_Go on, before I get put on grave cleaning duty and Tessa rips your head off for leaving. _Will smirked, he smiled as Lucifer might have done before falling from heaven, a playful glint in his eye that sparkled nothing but danger. He stood up and hugged Jem again before returning to the institute. He explained himself to Jessamine, who shouted at him for running away like that and explained what had happened. She was very gentle and understanding. He made his way to his room and found Tessa nursing James. He smiled sadly at the scene, sitting down and explaining to Tessa about his mother. His wife gasped and walked over to Will, she kissed her forehead and pressed the side of her head to his

"You'll be alright, it'll be ok. I promise" how the tables had turned, Will thought, how they had turned indeed.


	7. Chapter 7

A/N; Oh gosh I am so sorry everyone. It's been ages since I've uploaded. I am so honestly very sorry. Things have been getting really stressful and I couldn't keep up. But not a day went by without me thinking of this fanfic and also two more potential ones I was thinking of uploading, would you all like that? Sorry again for taking so long, enjoy! –HerondaleThoughts xx

**Chapter 7**

Will had always hated funerals. Since Ella's death he hated them. He hated black, he hated the mourning and the sadness that was everywhere. He hated how his sister cried and how he was powerless in controlling it. He stood there looking at the gravestone. His mother's gravestone, he corrected himself. His mother was gone, she was dead. He hadn't cried yet, he knew he would soon though. Tessa stood next to him the entire time, she had gotten better now, he noticed. He saw her smile more often and she seemed more at ease. She took care of James and helped around the institute but as for Will? He buried himself in his work. He woke at half six each morning and worked until half nine that night, only stopping for dinner or lunch or if Tessa demanded he did. He knew things had switched now, the sadness she had was now his. And he couldn't move it. He felt like stones were weighing him down, every movement was a strain on him and most nights he fell asleep never wanting to wake again. He listened to people speak about his mother, how she was a great person and how she would be missed. He wanted to scream at them that they didn't even know her well enough to say that. He wanted to scream that none of them cared, they were only here because they wanted to mock their lost. He wanted to scream at everyone, but he couldn't. Tessa held onto his hand throughout the entire ceremony. She was buried like a mundane but Will thought she deserved better. His mother always deserved better than that. He felt tears running away from his eyes, he didn't have to speak. He didn't want to. He knew his words would be fake and mean nothing. He knew to really explain how much you missed someone, you shouldn't have to explain yourself like a schoolboy in trouble. He watched them lower her coffin into the ground and stood there looking blankly at it. Underneath there was his mother. Magnus Bane was there as well, claiming that without him Linette and Edmund would never have met so it felt right. James never knew his grandmother, of course Will had told her all about him in his letter, but what could was that? She was dead now.

He felt a spiteful fire raise inside him but allowed Tessa to guide him to their carriage. They had their own carriage, lead by Balious of course. James sat opposite them, he was growing into a fine man now, Will thought. Those liquid sapphire eyes, he never could get over them. He admired them from the moment he was born. Will sat looking blankly out the window. God when had Yorkshire become such a pit? He thought bitterly. Tessa was speaking to him but he didn't actually process what she was saying. Why did she want to talk? Could she not understand he wanted silence? He rubbed his head and buried his head in his hands, his stomach was flipping inside him. He felt vile raising inside his mouth, a dryness forming in his mouth. He noticed he had began to tremble and soon he flung the door open, leaping out of the carriage and throwing up the contents of his stomach. He heard Tessa scream at Cyril to stop before sprinting after him. Her warm arms wrapped around her, they were both on their knees in the mud. The rain was pouring down, streams and rivers in full flow. Will leaned into Tessa's arms before screaming

"SHE'S DEAD!" he clutched onto Tessa who didn't seem to object. She held onto him as tightly as he wanted. His sobs were heart shattering, he couldn't stop them

"She's dead. Why? Why was it her?"

"Will," Tessa soothed. She kissed his forehead and cradled him like he needed. He didn't know how long they stayed there for. He knew he felt a blanket being wrapped around him and someone else guiding him away. He was placed in a bright carriage with glitter on the roof, Magnus. The warlock sat cross legged and looked at Will with a tilted head

"William, when you consulted me a few months ago about Tessa I did as you requested and spoke to her. She explained a lot"

"Why are you telling me this?"

"Because you need to the same treatment. God, Will look at yourself. When was the last time you bathed?" When Jem instructed me too, Will commented mentally but not actually saying it aloud

"You look like death, you do nothing but work, you are upset. I understand that, but please don't bottle it up"

"There is no demon here, Magnus"

"There is! In your mind! A darker demon than you can possibly imagine"

"Who are you to lecture me on how I control my emotions?"

"I am your friend. I know you don't have many, but it was Jem's final request that I take care of you" Will looked at Magnus with little interest. He ran a hand threw his hair and pulled at it

"I don't need help"

"I know. And I don't care. I was polite when Tessa declined, but I'm not being polite with you. You are dying from the inside out"

"Is that such a bad thing?" Will snapped at him. Magnus felt something in his heart break. To hear Will, his blue eyed lover, say that crippled his heart. Magnus rubbed his face

"It is the worst"

"Really? I thought it was for the better"

"And who are you benefitting? Your wife? Your institute? Your son?"

"Don't you bring James into this"

"Then accept my help! Accept you need help, it's hard. I know but please Will, just talk to me, talk to someone"

"I will talk to Jem" Magnus looked at him, his head still slightly tilted, he looked carefully at the Shadowhunter. Depression, a mental illness with physical effects. It was an illness that required attention, it needed to be treated before it spread over his body. They had already seen what happened to Tessa when her depression had gotten to her core, would Will be the same? Magnus scratched his chin and then nodded, putting his hands up

"Alright, I will personally write to them and explain your illness is one I cannot cure"

"I'm not ill"

"Keep reminding yourself that"

"I'm being serious, Magnus"

"And so am I. Depression is not an illness, it's an imbalance of your mind, not an illness" Will nodded and looked out

"We're at the institute"

"Right"

"I'm leaving"

"Ok, but I'm writing for Jem. And if I find you are not talking to him, I will be angry"

"When are you not angry?"

"When I'm with Woolsey" Will sighed and nodded. He exchanged goodbyes and walked up the institute steps wearily. Jessamine stood loyally at the top step, waiting for Will

"You should take his opinion"

"Should I?" Jessamine nodded

"You remember how you were when Tessa was bad? Tessa is like that now. You're making everyone worried Will so please, talk to someone" she bowed before fading away. Will stood there, he wished he could do that. Just fade away, become nothing but shadows, Pulivs et Umbra Sumus, he recited, We are nothing but Dust and Shadows. He wandered aimlessly up the stairs to his room, he longed to be in Tessa's arms. His sweet Tessa. He opened the door and found her there reading, her face was shadowed by the candlelight. He walked over and sat down at her feet, resting his head against her leg. She didn't speak, she just held onto him, kissing the top of his head and reminding him that he was not alone, no matter what he felt, he was not alone in his being alone. Will turned and started to cry but she didn't make a scene, she gently kneeled in front of him and used her tissue to dry away his tears, the gentleness in her touch and voice reassured him. He let her cup his cheek with her hand and he let her hug him. He heard her singing gently, a soft lullaby that lured him away to a sleep. He remembered falling asleep to the sound of the fire crackling and Tessa singing. He didn't remember being moved to his bed or being tucked in. Henry had done that. Henry had come to check on the couple, he found Tessa cradling Will and offered to carry him to their bed. She gladly accepted and said she was going to check on James. Henry had tucked Will in and made sure he was comfortable, he filled him up a glass of water in case he got thirsty when he woke up again. He closed the blinds and put a guard over the fire, Henry had his own children now. He loved them of course, and he was grateful for them. But he had been a father to Will before he had been a father to them. He still needed to care for the wild boy he knew. He had heard the whispers, that Tessa was no longer depressed and instead it was Will. He understood that, he understood that Will felt every emotion like an earthquake. He knew that if Will couldn't control something he blamed himself and that lead to self-loathing. He tucked in Will, making sure he seemed peaceful and sighed. Why was it Will and Tessa who got punished like this? Why? What had they done to make the world hate them so much? He prayed one day they would be happy. Just one day of happiness, and then maybe all the pain they suffered would be worth it.


	8. Chapter 8

A/N; Hello, guys I'm so sorry it's taken me so long to update. Exams and stuff have started and I've been stressed but I'm back! Ok everyone I have a slight AU that Will's father use to hit him, what are your opinions on that? Would you all mind if I did that? Thank you! –HerondaleThoughts x

**Chapter 8, Will's POV**

Will stared at the cat. The cat stared at him. Church looked at him with greedy eyes, what had Jem ever seen in him? Will wondered, the animal was the devils spawn. Will sighed and rubbed his face, why had he agreed to this? Well, he got to see Jem again. That was good, but what they were talking about was not so good. Will didn't register someone had entered until he felt a hand on his shoulder, it was soothing for he knew the touch

"Jem"

_Will_

"Don't use that tone with me"

_What tone? _

"That serious tone that I've done something wrong, I've done nothing wrong"

_I know that_

"Then stop sounding like I've done something wrong," Will snapped angrily. He rubbed his face and let out and exhausted breath

_When was the last time you slept?_

"That doesn't matter"

_Have your nightmares returned?_

"James, I said leave it!" Jem looked up at Will. He saw his blazing blue eyes. Those eyes with so much hurt and pain in them and he couldn't cure it

_Will…please._

"They have alright? Yes. The nightmares have returned. And I wake Tessa up nearly every night when I'm screaming from them"

_You should not be ashamed_, Will let out a noise from his nose and scoffed at Jem

"You wouldn't know"

_You're right, I wouldn't. My parents were dead before I got the chance to ever really know them. _Will looked at Jem and sighed again. He knew he had stepped too far when Jem spoke to him like that. He sat down and buried his head in his hands and shook his head

"I'm sorry" Jem nodded and moved away so he was sitting opposite him

_Do you still read?_

"Of course"

_Poetry or fiction?_

"Poetry, Tennyson mainly but occasionally W.B Yeats" Jem nodded again and sighed gently

_Do you ever turn to music?_

"I can't play to save my life," Will laughed. Jem smiled up when he laughed, it was good to see him laughing instead of crying

_Singing?_

"Oh yes I sing, I sing little Jamie lullabies"

_He is very lucky to have you do that_. Will nodded and looked at Jem sadly

"Jem, I don't want to talk about this" Jem nodded

_If I return tomorrow, do you promise you'll speak to me then?_

"I swear" Jem nodded and bowed

_Then goodbye brother_

"Mizpath" Will stood and walked Jem to the door. Will knew what he was doing was wrong, he knew fine well it was but he couldn't talk about it.

**Jem's POV, The Next Day**

Jem stood and looked at the large Institute. Will was somewhere in there, he thought, his parabati was somewhere in there. He took a step up the stairs but was stopped by an invisible force and a voice cooed

"He's not in there" he looked at Jessamine

_He is not?_

"No, he left this morning. Said he wanted to go race Balious in the forest"

_Did he know he was due to meet me today?_

"Oh he knew full well, he told me to pass on a message to you" Jem nodded and waited

"He said, I am not running from you. I never could. Tell Tessa I'll be back before midnight and to tuck Jamie up. Tell them both I'm sorry" Jem looked at Jessamine worriedly

"You don't think he's gone to…you know"

_Will would never do that, he has too much here now just to abound it_

"Yes, but he's not in his normal frame of mind is he?" Jem sighed and nodded

_I must go to Tessa now, tell her Will is gone before she starts worrying. _Jessamine nodded and let Jemcontinue his walk.

He found her in the library, she had been crying. He could tell straight away she had been crying, he always knew. He touched her shoulder softly, not startling her

_I am here, but he's not _

"He ran away, Jem. I woke up and he wasn't there and Balious was gone"

_He did this as a child, he would take the stallion away at all hours. It happened a lot when we were growing up, he would get frustrated at himself or me. He would storm out of the library and leave me, I never left my spot though. I always sat and waited for him to return, and he always did return. Soaked from rain and covered in mud as if he had been wrestling himself or the horse. He probably did wrestle Balious, they have a bond. A blood oath almost, to protect each_ _other. _Tessa nodded and pinched the bridge of her nose

"Was he like this when I was not myself? Did he drive himself to despair?"

_He worried greatly for you, but he knew you would come back. He had faith in you, as I had in him_. Jem sat down in front of Tessa and took her hand, tracing lines

_We are connected; You, Will and I. We have a red ribbon that strings our hearts together. In a way that one is never alone from the other. Even now as Will is away, you can feel him can't you? Or hear his mutterings in Welsh? For I know when I am in my chambers in the Silent City, I hear Will's mutterings or your gentle encouragements. And I hear all of us laughing, we are a three. We are never alone. Will made a vow to protect you, I made a vow never to leave you, and you swore that you will love us for all our life. A three, never to be separated. _Jem spoke so heartedly he didn't know Tessa was crying. He didn't mean to make her cry, he sat and held her as she sobbed into his robes. He listened to how she begged him not to leave because she was scared. He kissed her temple occasionally, he knew he shouldn't but he meant it as a comforting gesture and Tessa soon settled. Drying her eyes as best she could

"W-Will misses you" Jem nodded gently "Sometimes he cries in his sleep for you, I do too. He will get better won't he?" Jem kissed Tessa's hands softly and spoke kindly

_Tessa, you do not know how long Will bottled every emotion that was possible. His heart is like a Phoenix. When it is at its brightest, it puts out its own flame… he pressed a ring into her palms, it was Will's Phoenix ring that he made Jem wear when he was lost, the ring had the beautiful colours of fire in them _

_And falls down to ashes, but from the ashes it rises into its former glory again. And all is not lost. _Tessa sobbed and nodded. She slipped the ring on, looking up at Jem with tear stained cheeks "I love you" she whispered to him

_I love you too, Tessa. And I never will stop falling in love with you. But I must go now, next week I will see you again. Blackfrairs Bridge, for an hour as promised _

"I will hold you to your word," she laughed shakily making Jem smile and nod

_Hold me to it indeed, I will not break it _

"No, you never would" Jem stood up and kissed her forehead, leaving silently. He knew things were shifting now, he knew he needed to get to Will before the darkness did. For if he lost his parabati to the darkness again…he wasn't sure if he would be able to pull him out.

He later received word from the Institute that he was needed. He rushed back to the institute and saw Henry nursing Will on the sofa, the side of his head was clearly beaten in. Jem couldn't rub his face in frustration, this was the next stage. Wills recklessness. Jem stepped forward

"He's been out since he came home. Cyril was tending to the horses and he saw Balious come in with Will unconscious on his back. Cyril has a broken nose from trying to settle the horse" Jem took a sharp breath in and inspected the wound

_What of Tessa?_

"She is with Charlotte, Bridget is taking care of James, Charlotte managed to get Tessa settled" Jem sighed and nodded, he checked the wound gently and shook his head

_He did this himself, I think he rode too fast and too dangerously and this is the result_

"Would it surprise you if it was?" Jem remained silent. He cleaned the wound and drew an iratze to stop any further bleeding

_Henry, do you mind if I have a few moments with Will please?_

"Of course, of course" the ginger soon left and Jem sat down opposite Will, taking a breath

_I know you're awake, and I know you can hear me. That was very wise, getting a head wound like that. Did you know you missed your meeting with me today William? You probably do. Who am I to lecture you for missing it, but I care about you. And I care so deeply that I have to tell Magnus that you are refusing to talk. He made me swear if you were being stubborn, I had to tell him. _Jem waited but Will still didn't reply

_I'm trying to understand, I do not want to argue with you Will. Please…_there was no response. Jem sighed and set the small tonic on the table

_I made you a tonic for your nightmares, to help you sleep. Please take it._ Jem stood up and left the room. He saw Tessa looking at Jem with wide eyes

_Tessa, he refuses to talk to me. This is beyond my control and I swore to Magnus if he was being difficult I would go to him. _Tessa nodded and sighed "Alright, alright" she sounded so broken. Jem hugged her and then drew back

_Tomorrow, and the day after that and the day after that. I will keep at him until I find a solution and a way to help him_

"Sometimes, you can't fix everyone. Some people are too broken" Jem tilted Tessa's chin up

_When the world thought I was as good as dead, Will refused to loose hope. I owe him that, I will see you tomorrow. _He bowed and left before Tessa could reply, he had an appointment with the High Warlock of London, and he couldn't be late.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N; Hello again! Thank you for the reviews! I'm glad you enjoyed it **** I am considering of wrapping this fanfic up soon? It may happen. It may not, but I'm so busy with school and exams that it might be put on hold, sorry –HerondaleThoughts x**

**Magnus's POV**

Magnus watched from the drawing room as the Silent Brother walked up the steps. He rolled his neck making it crack and sighed thoughtfully. James Carstairs, Ke Jain Ming, Brother Zachariah. He tilted his head back to look at him better, he could see the difference in him to the other Silent Brothers, and he still had his eyes. Not that they were much use, he added sadly. He walked over and answered the door, smiling at his guest

"Brother Zachariah, pleasure. And I'm glad to see you still have some form of eyes. I always liked misty eyes, it's mysterious"

_Will said you like to flirt, you will find no use in flirting with me though, Magnus Bane, my heart it with Tessa and I think it would be frowned upon of a warlock decided to court a Silent Brother_

"Oh you're a sly little fox aren't you? Will didn't say you had a tongue, please come in" Magnus stepped aside and gestured for Jem to step threw. Magnus knew just by watching him, all his Shadowhunter grace was gone. It was saddening to see it if he was honest, Jem and Will had always been such powerful Shadowhunters. He sighed and followed Jem into the drawing room and sat down opposite him, crossing his leg

"Now, to what do I owe this pleasant surprise visit?"

_Will has not spoken to me_

"That is to be expected"

_The first day I went to see him, he shouted at me a lot. He promised me that he would speak to me the next day. So of course I believed him, come the next day I discover he had taken off across the forest on a Balious and returns with his head partly smashed in. _Magnus rubbed his chin

"So he is purposely avoiding you?" Jem nodded

"I'm disappointed in him, you are his parabati. He should speak to you" Magnus stood up and examined his room "You know, he and Tessa came he one night. Tessa tried to attack Woolsey with the poker and Will got in a fist fight with him, they were both distraught. It was you they were distraught about, Will was determined to find a cure to your illness"

_He always was determined too_

"Is that a bad thing? He wanted to help you"

_I was beyond helping, the least he could've done was making my passing peaceful_

"See, I don't think you would've given up so easily. I think you were trying to fight it"

_I was trying to fight it, but it was like trying to catch smoke with your bare hands of write in water_. Magnus nodded and sighed

"We need to get him to speak, somehow"

_You could try speaking to him, he has always been found of you and listened to you_

"No, no it would end badly"

_Not if you let it, if you let your tempers clash then nothing will be achieved but if you control yourself and fight that anger, you may achieve something._

"You're very wise, I see why Will choose you as his parabati" Magnus ran a hand threw his hair and shrugged slightly "It is as you say, all his emotions are raw. They are pure and raw like a vampire who has just been turned. No control over anything, your mind feels like it's a separate part of your body"

_You sound like you speak from experience_

"I do, trust me I do" he held his head back and then flicked his fingers thoughtfully "Tomorrow, I'll go to the Institute and see if I can get him to speak" he looked at Jem "You best go back, I don't want you getting in trouble" Magnus could've swore he felt a chuckle and then smiled up at Jem, nodding and hold his hand out

"When I see you again, I shall inform you"

_Thank you_

"It's my pleasure" Magnus watched the Silent Brother leave, he felt different. He was going to get William Owen Herondale to speak whether he liked it or not.

**Will's POV**

Will loved waking up at dawn, the hazy mist that hang over the London landscape, the silence of the city and the breaking of the sun. The beauty always captured him. He stood on the Institute, just observing the view thoughtfully. He closed his eyes, drawing his head back, he was about to step away to start his walk but then stopped

"If you've come to talk, dear Jessie, I wouldn't bother. I'm going on a walk today"

"I wouldn't if I were you"

"Yes, there are several things though you would not do if you were me, for example I doubt you would visit a brothel"

"If Tessa hears you speaking like that she'll have your tongue"

"Tessa is tucked up safely in our bed, and I do not plan on disturbing that pleasant slumber"

"Magnus is coming today"

"To check on Jamie? He's been suffering a slight cough recently, Tessa is worried about him"  
"William, did I ever tell you that your lies never worked on me?" Will looked at her stiffly

"I'm not lying, he has a cough"

"But Magnus isn't coming to check it"

"Maybe he is, there is stuff you don't know"

"He personally spoke with me about this matter, William, I think I know what he's coming to talk about" Will looked at her bitterly and sighed

"And pray, do tell me what the high esteemed Magnus Bane is coming to speak to me about?"

"You know fine well" Will looked at the voice and smiled at Magnus, almost irritably

"Speak of the devil, or can we say look what the cat dragged in since you have cat eyes?"

"You're on fine form this morning"

"Dawn tends to awaken my soul in many ways" Magnus rolled his eyes and pointed to the small park "We aren't talking in the institute"

"We aren't?"

"No, we are going to talk in the park" Will looked at Magnus, he took a breath and nodded, reluctantly following the warlock to the park.

Magnus produced a picnic mat and sat down under the grand oak tree, he pointed with his fingers

"Sit"

"No"

"Unless you want me to magically strip you and make you sit down by force, I suggest you sit" Will scratched his neck and then sat down

"Good, now. A friend of yours visited me last night, he was in quite a state"

"A friend? I don't believe I have many of those"

"Surprising I know, this one went by the name of Brother Zachariah, know him?" Wills head shot round to look at the warlock, his eyes blazing

"What did he say?"

"He said he didn't know what to do with you, that he had never felt so hopeless" Will tightened his jaw and looked away from Magnus

"You remember what it was like, to feel powerless whilst your parabati died? Well this is what Jem feels like, he knows you're slipping away from him and that he can stop it but you won't let him" Magnus moved so he was looking eye to eye with Will "Will, we can help you. Please, let us in and talk to us" Will moved away again and rubbed his face "Magnus, it's not that easy"

"It is, Will"

"There's so much, I-I don't know where to start"

"It was your mother's death that triggered this, you could maybe start there?" Will rubbed his face

"She was a lovely mother, she always sat and sang us lullabies when we were upset or couldn't sleep. She was so kind too, a mothers touch. She never hurt us when she brushed our hair" Magnus nodded gently "She got sad too, she sometimes sat and cried in the drawing room. I didn't know why, but father always sat and comforted her. My parents, they were so in love, Magnus, they loved each dearly. But my father, he gambled. And sometimes if he lost a bet, he would come home angry and drunk and would strike out at me" Will felt a lump form in his throat and looked away. Words were getting harder to say, his throat was clogging up and he hated himself for it. Magnus watched him carefully, he gently touched Wills arm "Will, you're doing well"

"When mother died, I realised everything I had lost. I realised I had pushed her away for so many years, she missed me so much but I refused to see her because I thought the curse was real"

"You were just a child, Will"

"I just…" his words couldn't form and he shook his head. So many walls were crumbling down around him. He was forcing himself not to cry

"I don't want to talk anymore"

"Will, you've been doing so well. Please, talk to me" Magnus whispered gently

"I-I need to go see Tessa" Magnus studied him carefully and then nodded gently

"Alright, if you go see Tessa, I want you back here tomorrow" Will nodded, extending his hand

"Thank you"  
"Your welcome" Will stood up and nodded before making his way back to the Institute. Tessa was standing at the head of the steps, his Tessa. His sweet, beautiful Tessa who looked so elegant. He walked up to her and took her hand in his and gently kissed it, bowing slightly

"I am so sorry" he whispered, Tessa wrapped her arms around him and held onto him

"Will, you've nothing to be sorry about"

"I've done so much wrong"

"You haven't, you've been brilliant" she drew back to look at him. She kissed his forehead and hugged him again, burying her face in his shoulder

"Y-you scared me, I thought I had lost you" Will felt tears spilling onto his shirt and quickly stood up closer so he was hugging her tighter

"Tessa, no matter what. I will _never _leave you" he looked back and cupped her cheek and tilted her head up slightly "I made a vow never to leave you, and I stay true to that vow. I will never leave you" Tessa let out a slight sob and covered her mouth quickly, Will pulled her close again

"Ssh, darling don't cry" he whispered, he kissed her temple and held her. They stood like that for some time, Will holding Tessa as she cried into his shirt. Will rubbed her back and constantly murmured how he wouldn't leave her and he was back now and she was safe. Those days of his recklessness and carelessness were gone. His blue eyes had softened now and there were crinkles around his eyes from laughing now. He had promised Tessa he would be everything she deserved and now, Tessa realised something. He had met that promise, but he was also more. He was more than she deserved, but she couldn't help but fall in love with him every day. Together, she thought, they could mend the brokenness that was in their heart.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N; Hello everyone! Yes I'm back again, sorry I was away all weekend but I'm back now :] so yeah, I like writing this fanfic a lot and I really don't want to give it up so who knows! It may progress further on! And soon it may include some Wessa smut ;) we'll just have to see! Enjoy! –HerondaleThoughts xx**

They agreed Will deserved a treat. For speaking to Magnus and letting the warlock help him, they agreed he deserved a treat. So, on Sunday morning, Will and Tessa woke up early and made their way to the horse market. James was tucked up and being taken care of by Sophie and Gideon. They held hands and Will practically skipped along the path to the market. Tessa laughed at his giddiness and smiled when he started singing his Demon Pox song at the top of his lungs. Things had gotten better, Will no longer cried in his sleep and he would sit through dinners now without worrying or shaking. James was also growing into a strong little boy, Will was teaching his how to walk and praised him when his son did it successfully.

Will wrapped his arm around Tessa's waist and kissed her temple lightly

"Look darling, look at the horses!" Will pointed to the horse market excitedly. Horses were practically falling out of the stable yard. There was everything there; large Clydesdales with fluffy white feathers to the fine bred Thoroughbreds. Will was in his element, pointing out the conformation or the breeding of the horse. All Tessa could do was stand and nod because honestly she didn't have a clue about horses or their breeding like Will did. She agreed when he said the horse was beautiful, for it was true. The horses were groomed to perfection, their coats shining against the morning sun and their eyes wide and large

"You can tell a lot about a horse by their eyes, see this one? It has bold eyes, he'll be a brave horse but the one next to him has loyal eyes. If only I could get a middle," he murmured thoughtfully. He ran his hands along the horses' body and nodded in happiness, he had stopped at a blood red bay horse; the horse was sleek and had large wise eyes. Will grinned like a child at Christmas

"Look at him Tess, look at the power in his legs"

"He is certainly is something" Tessa agreed. The horse was called Joey, a simple name but it suited him. Will paid the owner and took the rope

"I'm going to teach you how to horse ride Tessa"

"No, you don't want to do that Will"

"Course I do! You're my wife and should know how to horse ride, it's really not that hard" Tessa shook her head and kissed him

"If you want to teach me, then I will let you" Will smiled and kissed her back but then perking his head up as if he heard something

"Will?" he gestured for her to be quiet and handed Tessa the lead-rope, he pulled his blade out

"Tessa, I want you to go back to the Institute now," he whispered sternly

"Will…"

"Tessa go!" before she could turn away, a demon erupted from the side. Joey reared into the air, knocking Tessa to the ground

"TESSA!" Will roared, he stabbed the demon straight through the heart. He leaned down and pulled Tessa up into his arms

"Tess, Tessa, Tessa please," he choked out. Blood was streaking side of her face and her eyes were shut. He didn't see or hear the demon coming up from behind. He felt a searing pain in his back causing him to cry out, instinctively, he ripped his blade out again and slaughtered it. Black dots had started to cloud his vision and a low buzzing hummed in his ears. He looked for Joey, those wise eyes would understand. With whatever strength he had left, Will pulled himself up and sat Tessa on the back of the horse

"G-go to the Institute. Take care in going, she has never rode a horse before but be quick" he begged the horse. The horse snorted and set off, his hooves clattering against the cobbled pavement. Will remained in the horse market, he felt himself become paralysed in pain. He held down a sob that was rising, he prayed that Tessa was back at the Institute now, Joey…he thought, he's a good horse. He nodded slightly before letting the darkness consume him.

**Tessa's POV**

Tessa had woke up half way back to the Institute. She sat up and held onto Joey's mane and screamed when she couldn't find Will. The horse maintained his gallop and jerked to a halt when he arrived at the institute. She screamed out Wills name again, she was disorientated. The knock to her head had thrown her off focus, her thoughts were fussy and unclear

"Tessa, Tessa you're alright" she knew that voice. Or she thought she did, wasn't it a Harry? Harriet? Henry? Henry! Yes, it was Henry

"Tessa, look at me" he said gently, he lifted her off Joey and sat her down on the steps, brushing her hair back and looking at her head wound

"Where's Will?"

"I don't know!" Tessa sobbed. She felt something warm being wrapped around her, it was Charlotte. The couple had only arrived a matter of minutes ago, they were over to check in on everyone and were certainly glad they did

"Henry, go get the Lightwoods and go find him" the ginger nodded and sprinted up the steps. Charlotte returned to Tessa

"Tessa dear, please tell us where you were. We need to know" Tessa wiped her eyes away, she couldn't remember. Horses, something to do with horses then she remembered

"H-horse market, we were at a horse market" Charlotte nodded "I'm going to get Sophie ok? And Cecily, we'll get you inside and treat that wound"

"J-Jem, I want Jem" Tessa sobbed. Charlotte nodded "I'll call for him once we get you inside ok?" Tessa nodded and let Charlotte carry her inside, Jem was coming soon. It wound be ok, he would help. She passed out in Charlotte's arms before they entered the Institute.

**Jem's POV**

This wasn't good. Will was missing and Tessa had just passed out in Charlotte's arms. He gently cleaned the wound and scooped Tessa's hair back to make sure he hadn't missed any other wounds. Jem sat next to Tessa patiently, he held her hand the whole time until she woke up. She gasped for her breath and bolted up right, her eyes wide as she looked around the room and a sob escaping her when she couldn't find Will

_I am here, Tessa. You are not alone_

"Jem, Jem" she sobbed, clutching his hand and shaking her head "There was demons"

_Tessa, you will make yourself more nervous by telling me that. Please, just slow down_, he soothed. Tessa was distraught and he didn't like it. Will had been missing now for over an hour, he didn't doubt Henry and the Lightwoods but it didn't normally take an hour to find Will. Then again, he had been Wills parabati and knew the Welsh man better than himself. He squeezed Tessa's hand

"What if they're too late? W-what if they don't find him?" she sobbed. She was now clutching onto Jem's robes. He stood there like a rock, wrapping his arms around her and hugging her

_Ssh, they will find him. They always do, and I am here to treat him when they find him_

"I-I can't lose him"

_And you will not, William is strong. He's stronger than he's ever been. _At that, the infirmary doors were thrown open, Gideon and Gabriel ran in carrying Will.

**Tessa's POV**

He looked dead. His skin was too pale to be normal, sweat was rolling off him and he looked like he was just about breathing. Tessa cried aloud when she saw him, she leapt from her bed to get near him but Henry grabbed her before she could reach him

"Tessa, Will needs Jem's help now. We need to give them space, it's not going to be pleasant" he whispered, Tessa turned and hid her face in Henry's chest. He rubbed her back gently and nodded to Jem who began work. He looked at Tessa

_Please, I don't want you to have to see this_, he whispered. Tessa nodded and very slowly turned and left, but before she did she kissed Wills forehead and hugged him again, she hugged him tightly and whispered in his ear gently,

"Come back for me please, you can't leave. Not yet" she kissed him again and turned and left. She fell to the floor crying when she was out in the hallway, she didn't know when she screamed or when Henry carried her to her bed. She knew one thing though, the dress she was wearing was covered in blood, and it wasn't her blood.

…it was Wills. 


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N; Hello everyone! Thank you for your reviews again! I'm sorry I left you all on that cliff-hanger! I just love doing that ;) Oh yes, listen to Cold Arms by Mumford &amp; Sons and Blame It on My Youth by Jamie Callum! They remind me of Will and Tessa!**

**P.s, I nearly cried writing Henry's part /3 –HerondaleThoughts xx**

**Tessa's POV**

The first thing Tessa heard was music. Sweet, blissful music that melted through the institute. She felt as though she were in a dream, floating over clouds and swimming in the stars. She found herself at the entrance of the infirmary, she knew the music anywhere. Jem. She stood and listened, she saw two heart breaking sights. Jem, playing his violin for his parabati in hope to bring him back from the line of death he was dancing upon and Will. Her husband lying so still it was unnerving. She couldn't make herself go in to be next to Will but she couldn't make herself leave either. She stood there watching and listening

_You did this the night we first met, stood at my door to listen to my playing_, Jem's kind voice calmed her mind. She wiped her eyes quickly

"And Will said that the cats would arrive soon because it was so bad" Tessa was sure she heard Jem chuckle fondly at the memory

_He always hated my playing, well, secretly he enjoyed it. When he wanted to, we would sit in the library…he would read and I would play_

"That sounds so beautiful," she whispered

_It's nice to have those memories._

"J-Jem, he's going to be alright isn't he?" Jem hesitated before he answered

_There was a lot of poison in his body, his fever was worryingly high and I've only managed to get it down. He was delirious, I drew a sleeping rune on him to try and settle him down. It worked, but as I said, there was a lot of poison in him_

"But he will survive? He'll come back to us?"

_Tessa, he will never leave you. He would never do such a thing. You and Jamie are his world and to leave you would be like suicide for him_

"I hope you're not talking about me, James" the voice was groggy and hoarse. It was barely above a whisper but Tessa could tell who it was straight away. She covered her mouth to stop herself crying, Jem chuckled though

_Never would I dream of talking about you behind your back, William _

"Good, good. I wouldn't like that" he whispered. He rubbed his eyes and coughed slightly, Jem held a bucket next to him to allow him to cough up the bile in his lungs. Tessa turned her head, this was to be expected. Will was a Shadowhunter for goodness sake! He was going to get demon poisoning all the time. But this was her Will. Her sweet Will, her Will that's heart was too big for good. She felt tears run away from her eyes, it killed her to see him like this

"Tess…." He whispered, he choked a little "Tess, go check on Jamie" she nodded and hurried out of the room. She hurried to her sons room and cradled her child in his arms, his liquid gold eyes that shone so brightly. She kissed his head and cried as she held him, what would she do if Will couldn't overcome this demon poisoning? She would lose everything. She would lose her world.

**Henry's POV**

Henry had always considered himself a good man. He was loyal, he didn't lie and he ate his greens when Charlotte asked him too. What upset him though, was hearing that Will was suffering. Will was like a son to him, one of those pesky sons that always were going through the rebellious stage. Henry sat in his little office and scratched his head, Jem was with Will now so everything was alright. Ah, Will and Jem, he thought. Such a loyal bond between them. He looked at his papers and stood up, pacing the space and rubbing his nose

"Henry dear?" he heard Charlotte's warm voice. He jumped slightly, looking round at her and smiling "Charlotte, are you alright?"

"I'm alright, are you though?" Henry looked at her and for some reason he was not aware of, he pulled her into a hug, resting his head on her shoulder, the warmth and comfort she offered him

"Henry, please, what's wrong?" she whispered gently, kissing his temple

"I worry for them" Charlotte drew back and looked at him sadly, she understood

"I-I worry that Will might go too far someday, or that he'll lose himself. I worry that I won't be able to help him if he does"

"Oh Henry," she sighed. She kissed his forehead and hugged him again

"Will, Will was upset for a while…that's why we came back, to help him run the Institute"

"But now look at him, he's on his deathbed from demon poisoning. He isn't there, Charlotte, he's only half there" Charlotte bit her lip

"You know why he's like that Henry" the ginger nodded sadly and sniffed slightly

"Because he doesn't have a parabati anymore"

"But he has Tessa, and little James. You like James don't you?" Henry nodded

"He's his father's son" Charlotte smiled at him

"There, see? Will does have people now. Just because one person leaves you, doesn't mean you're completely alone" Henry hugged Charlotte again. They stayed like for some time, Charlotte rubbing Henry's back and holding him gently. She knew that Henry worried, and Henry knew that Charlotte was understanding when he went wandering. When his mind no longer wanted to function normally, and when he went strolling into a daydream. She always stayed beside him until he came back down to earth

"Henry, they'll be ok. They've come through so much already haven't they? They are strong, Henry, they're so strong and they have each other"

"C-Charlotte, I want to help them"  
"Oh Henry" she hugged him tightly, keeping him close to her, she kissed the back of his head

"I-I want them to know they aren't alone. I want to show the Clave that I can do something! I want to just to make you proud" Henry felt tears brimming his eyes. He had let so many people down already, but Charlotte had took him and helped him become what he needed to be; he heard a quote 'The measure of love, is to love without measure' and he loved Charlotte and Will and Tessa and anyone who stayed under the Institute. He sniffed

"Excuse me," he whispered, he hurried out of the room and out into the midnight air and then he felt it round him, an impact of air

"You aren't alone, Henry" the voice whispered, he sobbed openly and smiled at the voice

"I'm never alone, Jessie"

"Will's better now, Jem is taking care of him"

"And Tessa?"

"Asleep with little James" Henry nodded and smiled at the ghost

"I always cared for you, Jessamine"

"And secretly I loved you for it" Henry laughed gently, wiping his tears away

"Oh Jessamine, you shouldn't have died as you did" he heard a noise, a whimper almost

"Henry, I found peace. You need to remember that"

"Did I let you down?" he whispered. He could make out Jessamine shaking her head

"Never, never did you let me down"

"I tried my best to protect you"

"And you did, you did it so well. But Henry, sometimes…sometimes we just have to accept that the best we give isn't good enough" he looked at her, a little confused by what she said so she continued gently "Sometimes, no matter how hard we try. We are always going to let someone down. Intentional or not, it happens and the craft of human nature is to accept that," Jessamine touched Henry's cheek softly and smiled at him

"But Henry Branwell, you have never let anyone down. Not me, or Charlotte or Will or Jem. And I doubt that will change, because you try so hard that you are the most courageous human being I know with the purest of hearts" Henry looked up at her, a chuckle escaping him

"Jessamine, when did you get to be so smart?"

"Death changes us, sometimes for better and sometimes for worst"

"I think even in living, secretly, you were a true person" Jessamine smiled

"You should go back Henry, Charlotte is worried about you"

"Goodnight Jessamine"

"Goodnight Henry" Henry stood up and bowed, when he opened the institute doors he made a silent vow, he was going to get things back to normal. No matter how hard he had to try, he would help Will become happy again and he would help Tessa parent James. No matter what, Henry was going to make the institute a family again.

**((GO HENRY GO!)) **


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N; Wooo guess who is back from the dead! Yeah my exams are now over and I had to take a while to get my head sorted again, but I'm back! And I offer you some Wessa smut ;) sorry! I am so sorry I left! –HerondaleThoughts**

**Five Months Later**

Henry had indeed helped things get back together. Will didn't think his relationship had ever been this strong. After his near death experience, things had been sorted out. He wasn't to go out without Gabriel or Gideon, and he had to balance his work out. He wasn't to just suddenly do mountains of work without taking a break, and of course Tessa helped with this. Tessa would sit with Will in the library as he worked, she would make him take little breaks to go stretch his legs or go take a drink. This, eventually, lead to Will being one of the finest Shadowhunters to run the Institute. This particular summer day, Will was distracted. He kept biting his thumb nail or running his hand threw his hair, Tessa looked up from her sewing with a raised eye brow, gently offering her hand to him

"Do you need a break?"

"No, no. I'm ok"  
"Will…you're stressing about something" Will scratched his chin and closed his eyes

"I can't read" Tessa looked up at him

"What do you mean?"

"The words, their getting jumbled" Tessa walked over to him, gently cupping his face

"You need a break, take a carriage ride or take a walk around the park"

"Only if you join me" Tessa smiled, leaning down and kissing his lips gently

"I wouldn't have it any other way" she extended her hand for Will to take. The Shadowhunter stood up, wrapping his arm around Tessa's waist and pulling her close to his side, gently kissing her neck

"I like your soap" Tessa couldn't help but laugh and look at him

"Such a brilliant compliment"

"Well, I do really like it. It smells fresh and beautiful. Just like you" Tessa blushed slightly and sighed

"I love you, Will"

"I love you too, Tess" he whispered. He turned and stood in front of her, he was one step below her meaning she could finally kiss him without having to stand on her tip toes. Will wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her close, pressing his forehead to hers and then kissing her gently. He heard Tessa let out a soft breath, clearly glad to kiss him. Will brushed his nose against hers, smiling

"Tessa, do you honestly want to go on a walk?" Tessa looked at him curiously

"What other option are you suggesting?" Will smirked and kissed her again, this one had passion. And underlining hint of want and lust. Tessa understood from this kiss of course. She knew straight away and smiled

"I suggest you take us to our bed room, Mr Herondale"

"It would be my pleasure, Mrs Herondale" he scooped her bridal style and quickly carried her to their room. He opened the door but then kicked it shut, still carrying Tessa who had squeaked in excitement. Will chuckled and lay her down on the bed, he looked at Tessa's eyes and got lost in them. His beautiful Tessa, his hand gently caressed her cheek, down to her chin and then tilting her head upwards so that he could kiss her. It was a gentle kiss, a kiss that said I loved you no matter what. Tessa smiled into the kiss, wrapping her arms around his neck and then returned the kiss. Will let his kisses start to wander, along her neck to the hallow part in her chest and then to the neckline of her dress. Tessa let out gentle moans, tilting her head backwards to give him more room. Will took a breath as she began unbuttoning his shirt, he shifted slightly so that she could pull it off, his shoulders flexing under it as her fingers ran along his spin making him shiver. She smiled and kissed his parabati rune, then every scar on his torso. Will blushed gently as she kissed the rough scars, he hated the sight of them. But Tessa loved him. His hands slipped behind her back to work at her corset, over years his corset untying had certainly gotten better. He pulled it off gently and then Tessa slipped out of her dress so she was in her lingerie. Will smiled up at her, she was his. She was his. This beautiful creation who looked like an angel and felt like an angel was his. Tessa moved backwards on the bed, unbuttoning Wills trousers and slipping them off so they were both in their underclothes. He used his hand to support her back as she reached up and kissed him. There was no more gentle kisses, these ones were fiery and passionate. Will let his other hand go to her thigh, running his hand up and down it to tease her. Tessa gave him a look that said 'I hate your teasing' so he kissed her neck, knowing how much she liked that. When he heard her gentle moan, he knew he was doing it right. Will pulled the remainder of her lingerie off and in return she pulled her boxers off. It was just them now, no clothes or material to disrupt them. Will pushed Tessa back gently, his hands roaming her skin, her body was a map that he always got lost in. He trailed his over every inch of her body. She moaned back in approval, her hands running threw his hair and tugging the roots gently. When Tessa bucked her hips, he knew what that sign meant. He positioned himself between her legs, his lips going to hers as he gently entered her.

~/~

Will gently pulled the sheet over Tessa, who was curled up against his side. Will lay resting his back against the headboard, his chest acting as a pillow for Tessa. He played with her hair gently, twisting strands of it around his fingers. It felt like silk. He leaned down and kissed the top of her head, glad that she was having a peaceful sleep now. He let out a gentle yawn as well, shuffling down so his head was on the pillows. He tried to do this without waking Tessa, but of course he failed. His wife looked up at him, her lips were plush and red from their kissing

"Tess" he murmured gently, nuzzling the crook of her neck softly

"Yes Will?"

"I love you" she let out a soft chuckle and kissed his shoulder

"I love you too" she shivered slightly as Will traced figures of eight along her spine. His calloused hands felt rough against her back, but yet it was so familiar she loved it. She could never tire of it. Will smiled down at her

"Are you tired?" Tessa nodded softly, letting out a yawn as if to confirm it. Will nodded and kissed the top of her head again

"Get some sleep, I'm going to check on Jamie and then I will be right back" Tessa made a little 'mmhmm' noise but Will knew she was already asleep. He kissed her again before pulling his clothes back on and walking down to the nursery. He smiled when he saw his son with his little cuddly horse, he walked across and sat on the chair next to him

"Hello Jamie" he said softly, picking his son up and setting him on his lap

"How are you my son?"

"You know, it won't be long until he's talking" Will looked up and closed his eyes

"Good afternoon, Gabriel"  
"Hello Will"

"When did Cece and you arrive?"

"Half an hour ago or so. Cecily was getting unpacked then insisted on going to see the horses" Will chuckled and nodded

"All is well then?"

"It is, I think umm, I think Cecily is pregnant" Will looked up now, his full attention on his brother in law

"W-what?"

"I think she's pregnant" Will set Jamie down in the crib and stood up, walking across and looking at him

"Are you sure?" Gabriel shook his head

"I mean, she's showing the symptoms"

"Gabriel, you are not a doctor"

"I know that! But she just seems…off"

"She seems off?"

"Yes" Will pinched the bridge of his nose

"Gabriel, you both have marriage runes. You will be able to sense it if she's pregnant"  
"How did you know with Tessa?"

"She told me, she had spent the day with Jem and she came back and told me"

"So I should get Brother-no, sorry. Jem?"

"You should consider it, or she might already know and is just waiting for the right time to tell you" Gabriel opened his mouth then closed it again, nodding thoughtfully

"Should I ask her?"

"No, she might not take it well if you do ask her" Gabriel nodded gently

"Thank you"

"Anything to help"

"So, how are you and Tessa?" Will nodded gently, sitting back down and smiling

"We've never been better" Gabriel smiled back at him

"Well that is good, now I need to go find Henry and ask him to take a look at my pocket watch, see you at dinner?"

"Maybe not, Tessa is tired so we might just have dinner in our room"

"Of course, see you when I see you then"

"Goodbye Gabriel" Will watched his brother in law leave and then looked at James

"That is your uncle Gabriel, I didn't like him when we were younger" Will explained with a gentle chuckle. He set his son back into his crib and tucked him back up before leaving.

When Will returned to his room, he saw Tessa sitting at her dressing table. She was brushing her hair out, he stood at the doorway for a moment just to admire her. He ran a hand threw his mess of a hair and walked over to her, wrapping his arms around her waist and resting his head on her shoulder

"You could brush my hair if you want" Tessa snorted and turned to look at him

"Will, I would need to go out and get one of the horses brushes to try and untangle this mess of hair" Will grinned up at her

"You could plait it"

"Will…" she sighed but Will could hear the laughter behind her voice

"I can't plait your hair"

"You never know until you try Tessa dear" Tessa rolled her eyes and turned round so that they were hugging properly now. They stayed like that for what seemed like forever, but the door was thrown open by Sophie

"Tessa, Will! It's James, he's sick" Will turned round to look at her

"What do you mean?"

"H-he…he choked on his bottle and we couldn't get him to stop coughing" Will was out the door before Sophie could continue, he couldn't lose James. He had already lost one, he couldn't lose another…


	13. Chapter 13

**Authors Note: Hi guys, I'm really sorry but I've hit the rocks with this fanfic and am not entirely sure if I can continue. I might post more fanfics, but I'm really sorry. Thank you all for being such lovely people, maybe some day I will continue it. Until then…Ave Atque Vale **


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